westernind | A mutually beneficial arrangement

It hardly seems apposite to refer to Simon as

forbinproject any more; the only time he reads LJ is if some particularly momentous event occurs, and then I suggest that he reads the relevant entry himself. After all, I'm not his secretary...

...or am I? The deal in this house has long been that he is the Minister for Nutrition, whereas I am the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Minister for Pensions... and given that I deal with all varieties of tradesmen and bill-paying, almost certainly that makes me the Home Secretary. (Let's not quibble about a spot of capitalisation.)

Although my beloved has many other fine qualities, they do not include prompt attention to his incoming correspondence. Happily, a secretary's duties do involve opening post. This is just as well, as some of the bills are in his name, so with his willing consent I can effect ingress into any envelope coming through our letterbox which isn't handwritten, violet-drenched, or bearing some other indication of having emanated from an individual rather than a corporation.

This evening, whilst engaged in a spot of lounge-based entropy reduction, I picked up yet another anonymous white A4 windowed envelope, addressed to Mr S English, that had been nesting near the door for several days. Upon ripping it open, I discovered it was his first year's CIPD Leadership and Management exam results. He got a credit in each of the four areas. Huzzah for Simon. :-)