Better call this entry 'Friday afternoon work dreadfulness' in order to stay work-safe

[westernind]

Appalling office politics taking place. I hates it, I hates it I do. But I'm guessing it happens wherever office moves are planned.

I also hate bullying managers. The technique used by this particular specimen is to state an assumption as a fact. If you point out that it's an assumption, he waits a few minutes, then states it again as a fact. When you challenge it again, he then labels you as unhelpful. Personally I think he suffers from being stressed and insecure in his job but I'm buggered if I'm letting it mess up my priorities.

And now, a rant on terminology which is not-worksafe. No, I mean it. Not work-safe.

Those closer to me will know that, inspired by the Vagina Monologues, I've been doing my bit to reclaim the word CUNT; if someone uses the word as a derogatory noun (invariably to describe a male person) in my presence, it triggers a happy-dreamy muttered free-association spielette: lovely rooound cunt, furry cunt, broown, friendly-vowelled, cunt-cunt-cunt, positive word for female genitalia. La la la. "Use words for the appropriately gendered genitalia to describe the lowlives of the relevant gender", is wot I sa. Seems only fair.

Cunts aside, ("Cunts aside! cuntcuntcunt, yo ho ho!") another term has recently crawled into my field of view.

Cocksucker. What's going on here, then? Why is 'cocksucker' a term of abuse? Don't you want your cocks sucked*? Isn't it a Good Thing?

Yeah, there's an element of disingenuity. I have a perfectly-formed opinion on why it's a term of abuse; I've never heard it used to describe a woman. So, I'd be interested to hear a defence. Is there anyone out there who's prepared to argue that 'cocksucker' is value-free and not at all homophobic?

Cocksucker! Let's reclaim the word!

One last thing. I could turn the comments function off. But I'm not gonna. Play nice, no overt abuse please. But do feel free to use the word COCKSUCKER as a term of praise and positive concordances. Or even CUNT. :-)

* this rhetorically addressed to those of you as have cocks not quims. Incidentally, 'quimsucker' is a neologism as yet, I would argue, free of negative connotations.


Can you tell it's Friday afternoon?

Comments

[zazuomgwtf.livejournal.com]

cunt is a lovely word, but I could do without cocks, sucked or otherwise.

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

Funny, I feel precisely the opposite. All personal taste I suppose.

[zazuomgwtf.livejournal.com]

yup. viva la differance!

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

I have only rarely heard a woman called a cunt, but in my experience it's even rarer for a woman to be called "a total cock" in the way so many men are. Perhaps we just abuse men more often?

[westernind.livejournal.com]

What do you think of the word cocksucker?

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Cocksucker. What's going on here, then? Why is 'cocksucker' a term of abuse? Don't you want your cocks sucked*? Isn't it a Good Thing?

Uh-huh.

I've never heard it used to describe a woman. So, I'd be interested to hear a defence. Is there anyone out there who's prepared to argue that 'cocksucker' is value-free and not at all homophobic?

I have heard it used against a woman, and heard men and women called cunts, and heard both men and women use both phrases (cunt and cocksucker). I think that swearing for most people means nothing more than a good, aggressive sounding word (they are all *spikey* words)that you can really spit out hard like a verbal punch. "You total fucker". If people used that literally how would it be an insult? I think "fucker" demonstrates my point quite well because it can't be construed as anti male, anti female, homophobic or owt else it's just agressive. I happily use all those words when I feel it appropriate and never have any ulterior motive for using them.

Well that's the best defence you're going to get out of me, it's Friday and I'm grumpy.

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

It's very American.

If I try to analyse it (which I believe is what you're after) I think it is often used when someone wants to consider that (s)he is more powerful than the subject of the comment. This is clearly entirely ridiculous, as in my experience there are very few times that you have more power over a man than when you have his cock in your mouth. There's no doubt it's a negative term, but it should be a positive one - it's literally saying "this person gives pleasure" (unless they do it really badly, I suppose, but then I've been told that there's no such thing as a bad blow job).

However, if we were all to go out in T shirts saying "I'm a cocksucker" I bet all the guys would see only the positive elements to it and we'd get chatted up no end!

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

Value free = a Will Young record

[westernind.livejournal.com]

> I'm grumpy

Me too. Better to rant on LJ than kill the manager downstairs. It'd be a shame to jeopardise my final-salary pension.

> aggressive-sounding word

Mucker, plucker, tucker...? but we choose to use fucker. Totally irrelevant to the sexual act.

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

mr_h_r_hughes
2005-04-15 16:27 (link)
Comment Posted Successfully
As far as 'value free' you can't say that of any word, surely. We all have our own understanding of the words we use and everyone uses them differently with different intent. So after my comments I'm now thinking that to guess too much about what intent lies behind someones words based purely on the word is foolish. Context, mood, how they act when they say it, what your relatioship to them is, all these would effect meaning. I know that there are words that I'd use as insults with some and affectionately with others.

[westernind.livejournal.com]

Yeah - if we all did it. Dare you to do it on your own. ;-)

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Well it's just habit that people use it now (this is a swear word, if you want to swear use this), once it was not only agressive but also shocking.

We could make up our own swear words like Fry and Laurie did.

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

EG: Shove it up your pimhole you shoteing cloff-prunker!

Pushing it for a Friday afternoon

[westernind.livejournal.com]

Are you saying that in order to interpret meaning, it is necessary to be aware of context?

[irdm.livejournal.com]

I presume it's a mis-presumed derivative for "thumb sucker" which the Yanks, such as the iconic B.A. Barachus utter as "'sucker".

A female of my acquiantence (he says carefully) is prone to the term "they suck cock big time", which always amuses me, as that seems my kind of people (gender and other basic attributes filtered to suite).

But it is odd, I mean ermm ... (may have to make up term) "pussy muncher" - could that be derogatory?

p.s. curse your rhetoric! :-)

[westernind.livejournal.com]

I didn't delete that post! In fact, I never got to see it...

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

It said the same thing as Jamie's post later on. Not sure what was going on there!

[clarisinda.livejournal.com]

Any paricular manager? ;-) Actually, news travels fast round here, so I'd already heard you'd had a falling out with him ;-) FWIW, the seating plan thing has caused much heated discussion down here too, mostly because a certain DBA wants the best seat and will bully anyone and everyone to get it. I *think* we've agreed to draw lots, but I'm 99% certain I'll arrive on Monday morning to find she's already bagsed a corner and is not shifting for anyone :-/ Even the boss is not prepared to stand up to her.

[westernind.livejournal.com]

Pussy muncher/quimsucker... nope, I don't see them as derogatory. YMMV. :-)

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

It is very Amercican, people never used to use that much when I was younger.

Wanker

[irdm.livejournal.com]

How do people see these evolving as derogatory?
Other than some kind of sin thing,
I'd always presumed it was an indication of "limit to technical ability" rather than "acheivement".

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Me being crap : )

[westernind.livejournal.com]

I didn't have a very severe falling out, I just wasn't prepared to be a pushover - if you heard there was bloodshed, it's Chinese whispers. ;-)
We're drawing lots for seats in our cramped corner. It's the only fair way. That, or swap round every three months.

[irdm.livejournal.com]

> I have a perfectly-formed opinion on why it's a term of abuse;

I have an opinion. But for the record...?

Re: Pushing it for a Friday afternoon

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, getting serious. Sort of. If I called you a gibbon and Anita a monkey would you know what I meant without seeing me say it, at least then you could guess from observing how I said it.

[irdm.livejournal.com]

My mileage has no issues.

I suppose they could come into play in some arena where female homosexuality was an issue?

Re: Pushing it for a Friday afternoon

[westernind.livejournal.com]

In person, I would know. With the written words alone without context, not necessarily. So with just words, in the absence of non-verbal contextual information, do you think they have innate meaning?

(See how I lay a trail of tempting honey-soaked breadcrumbs leading to the concealed heffalump trap... )

[westernind.livejournal.com]

An opinion which requires at least 5,000 words to put into context, and as Von Twine points out, it's Friday afternoon.

[irdm.livejournal.com]

Lordy!
Well, if you want to send me some prose/links on Monday morning?

Tonight is Chomsky night!

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

I need crumbs, I know what I mean but it tends to come out like an exploding balloon rather than a trickle of water, all messy and scattershot. Also I'm not always 100% keen on being pinned down about what I think...makes me feel like a pinned butterfly or something.

Without anything to explain them no, I think they have no meaning other than what you as the reader imposes upon them. I think that's what I mean (looks up for the falling mouse-trap style laundry basket).

By the way you aren't a gibbon, but Anita is a monkey. Got to go get Amy from the station now.

[clarisinda.livejournal.com]

The switching round every few months thing doesn't work - we were supposed to be doing that in our current office, but once people get desks they like, it's extremely difficult to persuade them to shift. Our DBA has been threatening to resign if she has to sit near the boss! Personally I'm dreading the move - open plan, more noise, users nearby, air conditioning, longer commute, and I'm not going to get away with arriving at 11am :-/

Re: Wanker

[clarisinda.livejournal.com]

I always thought it was pointing out one's inability to pull someone else...

Monkey?

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

:-P

Re: Monkey?

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

As in 'cheeky monkey' or 'naughty monkey', you're mischievious : )

...like a pinned butterfly

[westernind.livejournal.com]

IMHO this is the real reason Socrates was executed by the citizens of Athens. Because every time they went down to the forum, this mad old man with a long beard fixed them with a beady eye and started asking awkward questions. Ver' uncomfortable.

I have a laundry basket poised, but don't want to pin down any butteflies, and also butterfly-mindedly lose interest in dropping the basket on LJ... are you and sq'Amy house-bound (qua egg-bound?) at the weekend, or possibly feedable on Sunday? Or we could visit you.

As forbinproject and jimfer will testify, I'm simian-negative; thus deliberately not enquiring about the gibbon.

[agentinfinity.livejournal.com]

I often accuse people (,entities, and/or institutions) of sucking Satan's cock in hell. But that's Bill Hicks' fault.

I like swearing. It's fun and funny. But I'm far too tired to defend myself in the slightest. Words are gud.

Whilst I have been reading this thread there has been a gardening programme discussing trimming bushes into special shapes. Tee hee hee.

Re: ...like a pinned butterfly

[agentinfinity.livejournal.com]

Doing something on Sunday would be cool. The recently turned naff weather has left us with a bit of spare time.

We seem to have misplaced your phone number rather craply. Will email or summat tomorrow.

Re: ...like a pinned butterfly

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

You're not a gibbon, gibbon is slang in my family and with some friends. It's basically a friendly way of calling someone a clumsy oaf for example:

"You stood on my scale model of the Spruce Goose ?! You bloody gibbon!

[westernind.livejournal.com]

Ah, but that's Satan's cock. And he doesn't deserve any jollies.

I noticed that some of the bushes were shaped like cockerels...

Re: Monkey?

[ephraim.livejournal.com]

Are you implying that I sleep with monkeys?

Re: ...like a pinned butterfly

[ephraim.livejournal.com]

You have a scale model of the spruce goose? Cooool!!!!

Re: Monkey?

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes and you LOVE it.

That comment was for joke purposes only Anita :)

Re: ...like a pinned butterfly

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

Nah, that's just what I call my penis...and just like the real thing it looks very impressive but can only stay up for fourteen seconds BOOM BOOM.

What am this morning, Les Dawson ?

[mr-h-r-hughes.livejournal.com]

"I noticed that some of the bushes were shaped like cockerels..."

Oh the confusion in my mind! ; )

[jul1et.livejournal.com]

what floor have you been assigned to?

[westernind.livejournal.com]

Ground floor.

Having volunteered to help out boss the previous night (because she was looking desperate), we spent three hours moving little cut-out colour-coded spraymounted paper furniture around an A3 plan. It took a small fraction of that time to work out that the fundamental issue is, they're trying to get too many people into the space. (Although it would help if you could move the pesky pillars that hold up the ceilings!) Our team will be crammed into approximately half the floor space we have currently, and there's no room for expansion. Nowhere to put the contractors that the web and VLE teams have needed in the last year.

Coats are meant to be put in central coat cupboards. I bet my boss that they'd end up slung over chairs because people want them near their desks, but she wasn't disagreeing.

No-one who codes or edits texts wants to be near Marketing and Registry, who are always on the phone. Our current environment is pretty quiet and I'm pretty sure productivity will take a dive all round. But, 'only fight the battles you can win', and this battle is long over. We're definitely moving, so we can only make the best of it. I suspect that there will be problems for several months, then there will be another shake-up and move-round to accommodate the inevitable new joiners.

When you were there, how much did noise carry? Also, are those pillars round or square, and what are they made of?