Forrin Parts

No updates for a long time. After a while, the immensity of a full account of the happenings gets to look like too heavy a burden, and consequently I continue to write nothing. Better to pick snippets. (The interesting bits?)

First, Brazil. The chorus flies out on 24th June and returns on 7th July, and in the meantime there's a huge amount of work to do. Three of the concerts are performing an a cappella programme, so that's about an hour and a half's worth of music to learn. The only piece I already know is from Mendelssohn's Elijah, which we did last year at a Prom.

For anyone faintly interested, here's ( some of the music we're doing )

I've bought The Rough Guide to Brazil, to mug up on things to do and see - if we get any time to ourselves. The concerts are in Rio, Sao Paulo and Salvador and I'm guessing it's unlikely that there'll be time to go on extended side trips, so no rainforest or Iguacu waterfall. Despite my cheerful assertions to Himself (who's moving to Ilford on the middle weekend that I'm away and thus not coming with me) that nothing is going to happen and it's all perfectly safe, I read this extract with just a hint of trepidation:

Remember that while being a gringo can attract unwelcome attention, it can also provide an important measure of protection. The Brazilian police can be extremely violent, and law enforcement tends to take the form of periodic crackdowns. Therefore, criminals know that any injury to a foreign tourist is going to mean a heavy clampdown, which in turn means no pickings for a while. So unless you resist, nothing is likely to happen to you. That said, having a knife or a gun held on you, as anyone who's had the experience will know, is something of a shock: it's very difficult to think rationally. But if you are unlucky enough to be the victim of an assalto, a hold-up, try to remember that it's your possessions rather than you that's the target. Your money and anything you're carrying will be snatched, your watch will get pulled off your wrist, but within a couple of seconds it will be over. On no account resist: it isn't worth the risk.

On the other hand, I have reasonably good street sense (note I didn't say spidersense*), as proved by the episode last year when London Transport chose to dump all its District Line passengers out at Bethnal Green shortly after dusk. As I started to use my mobile, several nearby gentlemen took note, and picking up on the gleam in their eyes I realised a mugging was imminent. The avoiding action involved fleeing back into the tube station, and hovering near LT staff whilst phoning for the cavalry (jfs and forbinproject in East London mercy mission of roz-rescue). Staying in four star hotels and travelling with a party of over 100 people can't harm either. Also, carrying a 'dummy wallet' - one containing a few US dollars and some expired credit cards. All donations of such cards gratefully received.

*even if I did think it

Natural shrinkage

Over Easter, whilst accomplishing Many Things, we found time to go over to Whetstone to visit the flat for which Himself pays a not inconsiderable monthly rent, and where he allegedly makes his dwelling. The truth of the matter is that his stuff lives there - in fact, a goodly proportion of my stuff lives there also, including the extensive fabric collection - but for the last few weeks neither of us can remember him spending a single night away from Sunny Ilford.

The purpose of the visit was to raid the aforesaid stuff for items without which daily living had become insupportable. In between carting boxes downstairs and rummaging through bolts of material, I noticed Himself's costume for Grand Design hanging innocently on the back of a cupboard door. For those as does not know, this costume is eighteenth century style; it comprises a gold jacquard long waistcoat, lined with linen, with many many buttons (manufactured by yours truly), and an exceptionally beautiful patterned black frockcoat from the Historical Costume Company, wot cost Himself two hundred and fifty pounds and in the opinion of this not so humble costume maker, was worth it.

GD will soon be upon us and there's not much spare time between now and then. I looked at the costume. I looked at Himself. My eyes narrowed. "Try it on,", said I. He tried it on.

Houston, we have a problem.

Over the last year there has been somewhat of a shrinkage in the personage of Mr English - in all the right places, I'm pleased to report. Consequently, far from being a figure-fitting fit, the costume could now accommodate, in addition to the usual occupant, a small child or medium sized dog without straining the seams unduly. In fact, an additional occupant weighing - say - approximately three stone.

Alas, both frockcoat and waistcoat are now unwearable. Emergency plans were swiftly made for the next event, involving a sleeveless doublet (that's a singlet for the pedants out there) of the same fabric and provenance as the frockcoat, which had previously gone unworn due to having "shrunk in the wash" or some other likely story.

In due course and given some time, I can re-make the waistcoat to a smaller size. However, anyone want to buy a (only slightly) used frockcoat?

Mobile phones aaagghhh

It's possibly time to get a new phone. Have just trawled around the web looking for mobile phone info and am getting progressively more confused. I want a phone that:
- works in the UK, France, Brazil and preferably the US
- has infrared so it talks to my P*lm m515
- preferably a Nokia
Also, tariffs?! When people call you abroad, does it cost you, them or both? does it depend what country? do you need to sell one or both kidneys?

If there are any mobile phone gurus out there reading this, please make yourself known? Otherwise the trawling will continue. After all, it's Friday afternoon.